Eragon: is it an egg? is it a stone?
by x lost fairytale
Summary: Hmm.. this is what happens when you're bored and watched eragon.. no flames please.. Chapter 2 up !
1. Chapter 1

Well, this is my first fanfic or parody of Eragon. Yeah, I'm new waves So, this is a parody of the movie Eragon, which really sucked, except Durza, I loved Durza. hugs him Yeah, I'm a fangirl.. to bad he had to die.. but, life's hard…

So… enjoy my great story and please don't be to harsh on me, I'm Dutch so my English isn't perfect...

Now, let's start with the first really stupid thing of the movie… the egg/stone dilemma….

(**Little note: **this is a product of boredom, so don't be too critical. And… I'm crazy)

Shuss.. be silence, the best movie ever begins ! funny Star Wars sound ERAGON the REMAKE !! hell yeah.

**Bro****m:** There was a time, when the fair and beautiful land of Alageasia was-

**Me**: Wait? Alag**ea**sea? What the hell? First mistake.. oh well.. go on.

**Brom: **tells stuff he is not suppose to tell until later in the story

Now we go to Durza and Galbatorix…. Yeah… of which the last one doesn't even has a part in the book.

**Galbatorix**: overdramatic I suffer without my stone. Do not pro-

**Durza**: Wait? Stone? Wasn't it suppose to be an egg?

**Galbatorix**: Yes yes, but the people who watch don't know that. They think it's a stone. So get me my stone.

**Durza**: No, really, it's an egg.

**Galbatorix**: sighs I know.

**Durza**: So why do you say stone?

**Galbatorix**: Because it's in the script!

**Durza**: But it doesn't make any sense.

**Galbatorix**: Just get me that stone.

**Durza**: But-

**Galbatorix**: tries to be all mean and creepy and, well, fails DURZA!

**Durza**: Alright, alright, but it's still-

**Galbatorix**: Just go!

So, now we go to the woods, where Arya and two guards ride on their horses. I'm positive that Arya in the book black hair got.. but.. maybe she'd had a haircut or something.. And what happened to the elf thingie.. like ears and stuff……

**Arya**: singing An egg, an egg! I'm carrying an egg! An egg, an eg-

**Guard** **1**: I'm sorry but it's a stone.

**Arya**: Is not.

**Guard 2**: Well, actually, the script still says it's a stone and the people who watch also think it's a stone.

**Arya**: Hmm.. weird. Oh well clears throat A stone, a stone! I'm carrying a stone!

**Durza**: poofs right in front of her Hey a stone!

**Arya**: DUUURZA! Hey!

**Durza**: Give me the stone!

**Arya**: Actually, it's an egg.

**Durza**: Really? Curses. I'm looking for a stone, but still… MUAHAHA DIE !!

Urgals who do not look like Urgals jump out of the bushes and kill the two guards.

**Arya**: Why did you do that?

**Durza**: Grins Because I'm evil.

**Arya**: You have a serious problem, you know that. But, by the way, what happened to you're eyes? Aren't they suppose to be, like, red?

**Durza**: Look who's talking.

**Arya**: Meany

**Durza**: Well, to get to the point. You don't have a stone, now have you?

**Arya**: No just an egg. Wanna have?

**Durza**: No, Galby said a stone, so I'll find a stone. You keep that egg.

**Arya**: Nah. Holds out egg JHHTRDFHN egg disappears

**Galbatorix**: Curse you Durza! I wanted that egg, which was still under the illusion of a stone. You fool!

**Durza**: So you did wanted that egg/stone thingie. O bagger. all evil Where did you send it?

**Arya**: sticks out tong Not telling you.

**Durza**: Hmm… than… I capture you!!

**Arya**: No you don't ! I don't wanna come to that creepy, dark place and that small little cell! I'm claustrophobic !

**Durza**: I have cookies.

**Arya**: Okidokie. runs off with Durza

_Reviews? puppy eyes I know it was stupid and short, but still…_


	2. Chapter 2

I got reviews.. I just got reviews - makes a little dance - Now I'm happy

So thank you –hugs-

Hmm.. disclaimer perhaps: You now the drill, I don't own Eragon, if I did, Durza would be alive – cries –

Now, here we go..

* * *

**Eragon**: - walking through the woods, mumbling to himself – I'm walking through the woods. I just left my house and I'm walking through the woods.. Why am I walking through the woods? Oh, right, deer hunting. Still, why did I just left home and am I walking through the woods like I'm some kind of brave hero, on the point of making the most interesting and devastating discovery, which will change the world, make me find some strange, jet unknown creature which comes out of a stone, and my long lost brother… I have a brother? Now that's new… Maybe I'm the master of that creature, no… I'm… I'm the rider… I FIGGERD it out! I'm the next Deer Rider!!!

**Arya**: Now, that's interesting…

**Eragon**: Who the heck are you?

**Arya**: Right, not in the script… - coughs - YOU DIDN'T SEE ME!!

**Eragon**: Yes I did.

**Arya**: - whispers - No you didn't

**Eragon**: Yes I did

**Arya**: No you didn't

**Eragon**: Yes I did

**Arya**: No you didn't

**Eragon**: Yes I di-

**Durza**: For crying out loud! Shut up!

**Eragon**: And you are…

**Durza**: Didn't see me

Anyway…

**Eragon**: I'm the fearsome warrior! You shall not hide, Deer from Hell, for I shall find you, I will always find you… nothing will ever go past me.. I'm the next Dee-

**Deer**: - coughs - Deer…. behind you…. look

**Eragon**: A DEER !!! And you thought I didn't see you!! But I did !! MUAHAHA

**Deer**: - just stares –

**Eragon**: MUAHAHAHAHAHA – chokes – right.. breath… – clears throat – MUAHAHA !!

**Deer**: - stares –

**Eragon**: MUAHAHA !!

**Murtagh**: And I'm related to that…. that… thing? Please, kill me

**Eragon**: YEAH! More friends I don't see but somehow see, but then they say I don't and than I say I do and than…

**Murtagh**: Right… you didn't see me.. – mutters under breath – just go to Galbatorix, get a dragon and kill that fool.. yeah.. that's good.. very good… very plotty… -runs off - I'm free!

**Deer**: - coughs –

**Eragon**: - stares –

**Deer**: - shakes head – Saphira, take it over, I didn't get paid enough for this..

**Saphira**: Do I have to..?

**Deer**: There are some very interesting stories, which are related to teddy beers, pink rooms and heart shaped pies…

**Saphira**: - poofs in front of Eragon, with a big blue explosion, just for the none cliché effects, you know… -

**Eragon**: A strange object just happens to poof right in front of me, with a unexpected explosion and just happens not to KILL my masterly hunted down deer! Hmm.. perhaps I'm not a deer rider at all, maybe a……. STONE RIDER !! What a coincidence there is this stone, right in front of me… so shiny… now, let's touch it, because, that's always the first thing to do when something strange and unknown poofs right in front of you…

Later…

Eragon walks happily back to home, without a deer, but with a new vision of a new life.. of that of a stone rider

**Sloan**: Aaaahhh!! Cursed egg- uuh stone!! – runs away –

**Eragon**: - ignores – Now, how shall I call myself. The Amazing Stone Rider? The master all Stones?? The FEARSOME Stone Jedi?? - also ignores homeless-styled Brom –

And yet again later…

**Egg- uhm.. right, script.. I mean.. Stone thingie**: - Crack –

**Eragon**: yohooyohooo, a Stone Riders life for me !

**Stone**: - Crack ! –

**Eragon**: Yoohoohoohooohooho… is that even right? Hmm.. Yohoooooooyohoo

**Stone**: - CRACK ! –

**Eragon**: Yohooyoho-

**Stone**: Yo! Hatching… pay attention !

**Eragon**: Aahh ! Stone which isn't a stone is talking !

**Stone**: Is not !

**Eragon**: O yes you are

**Stone**: Is not !

**Eragon**: O yes y-

**Thing which came from the stone**: Don't even start it

**Eragon**: Hmm.. now comes the conclusion… What are you? You're not a bird. You're… you're a horse !!

**Thing**: O dear… - tries to go back in the egg.. right.. stone…-

Some friendly thingies pass.. no slash.. please.. remember.. she's a dragon… (o right, also that was a big mystery… forget that)

**Arya**: And….

**Eragon**: And what… person-I-can't-see-but-still-see

**Arya**: The big unexpected shock!

**Eragon**: Hmm.. just a minute – thinks – yeah… it's… it's… It's not a stone, it's a egg !!

-Silence-

**Durza**: So it was an egg..

**Arya**: Told you so

* * *

_-Puppy eyes all over again- _

Review??


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